i realized i havent written anything in over a month!!! i've been a very busy person...so many things happened to me over a month...i took my final exams, i wrapped up 3 years of struggling in a matter of what, 4 days? n then i went to bosnia...i imagined myself to be sitting down and typing endlessly detailing every little bit of my trip to bosnia because i want everyone to know how it has affected and touched me in so many ways, but i realise dat words cant capture the experience i encountered.
it was a truly enlightening experience. never in a million years did i envision myself going to bosnia, a country that i heard so much about through TV when i was a little kid, even in my kindergarden there was a bosnian refugee boy so i always knew about bosnia just never imagined myself going there...it was indeed one of the best holidays i have ever had. as a person it has strengthen my faith and my belief and really does make me want to stand up and change the system, the world. as a sociologist bosnia is one wonderful country to observe..so rich in history, so pretty in scenery. i just cant word my experience, one thing i can tell people though, is if ur ever given a chance, u should definitely go there, absolutely positively neccessary to pen it down on ur places to visit list.
as a Muslim, i have to point this out though. what saddens me most about my visit is how easy it is for people to forget. and i dont understand why must we fight when we aren't even that different? how can hatred consume ones soul until one can turn on their neighbour and heartlessly kill someone in cold blood? how can human beings, humans who boast their superiority due to their intellect stoop so low and behave as animals? if we have so much hatred, so much violence, so much anger, do we even deserve the title of being a person? it brings to light what i have read, how human beings can be higher than the angels or lower than the animals...we have the power to elevate our status above that of angels (subhanAllah) but do we race towards that opportunity?
i guess 3 yrs of being indoctrinated with sociologial theories havent really worked on me huh? i still look at things as someone who believes in a greater power, perhaps its my own socialization process, a sociologist is never truly objective anyways..feels good to refer to myself as a sociologist, although i believe that even till now sociology is not the right degree for me, but i am proud to say i have attained my 2:1 BA Sociology from Warwick University!!! n yes i am hell proud of it (thankful too, alhamdulillah) its a top 10uni in d UK n it remains in d top 3 best unis offering sociology, so yes im very very very happy .... alhamdulillah
so in a course of a month, ive had experiences that really makes me believe i have a purpose on this earth, i have a goal to achieve. there is a reason why i chose sociology and although i knew from the start (in my 1st yr i cried in front of my own dept about to give up and tell my personal tutor then that i couldnt cope and that i hated this subject afterall) that this isnt something i really love, but i stuck to it...i cried in front of my dept, i didnt enter the sliding doors, i didnt choose to walk in to press the elevator button to go up to meet my tutor n i now im thinking i know why...i knew when i was in A Levels doing sociology that ilyas b. yunus is not gonna be the only Muslim referenced throughout a Cambridge A-Levels Sociology textbook...i believe it is a lengthy process but insyAllah as long as i dont lose the reason why i chose to do sociology in the first place and with God's help i can make everyone see that it was Ibn Khaldun and not Auguste Comte (or as recently discovered Emmanuel Sieyes) who discovered Sociology...
yes, i know, with all my babbling about it, i guess deep down in my heart i do love my degree and i dont regret an inch of having chosen it hehehe as hard as i find it to believe (especially now with job hunting etc)..so in a course of a month i guess i did grow up *wink*
on a lighter note, i went to see jason mraz a few hours ago...was the BEST! he was really good, he made jokes, he made up songs on the spot, he poked fun at the dead uni campus n lakeside hahaha that cracked me up, i mean he actually mentioned lakeside! apparently he jogged there in the morn, at lakeside? LOL i knew that place is cool ever since my first year hahahahaha
owh n yes, over the month i realised that i keep on wanting things i can not have... i keep hurting myself as though i enjoy it, i keep feeling stupid and inferior when i know i shouldnt be. when something is not meant for u, its not meant for u, yet u always want it, i always want it. and i guess i should change and begin to accept what ever comes my way ...
Listening to : Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer
Sunday, 6 July 2008
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