Sometimes, sometimes it hurts to be in this position.
To speak of things that should've been left unspoken,
To write things that shouldn't have been written.
Now, now I'm left wanting to forget yet not be forgotten.
It's in the past,
Time flies by fast,
Yet this pain still lasts.
If only I had seen,
If only I had known what could've been,
Maybe then I wouldn't be left regretting.
If only life was a transaction.
I would buy happiness,
I would return sadness,
I would forever make the right decisions.
What's there to regret?
Everything happens for a reason.
I wish, I wish I could forget
as one would each season.
-this is far frm complete, i just threw a bunch of stanzas about and made it into one. ive been a tad bit emotional these days, so yea-
Friday, 17 April 2009
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
updates, if u were waiting
so, now i am in the mood to write :) here comes the list of upadates...
last week was quite a fulfilling week, Alhamdulillah. met with the family of this (msian) ustaz that me and every other malaysian in our year was close with. my housemates and i (in our 2nd year) used to babysit his kids. really sweet, cute kids. was great meeting them again and sitting down listening to their daughter complain about how different it is like to go to school here. for someone who has been through only a couple of years in normal msian primary school, i can relate with the horrors of it still. altho i was lucky enough to have been placed in relatively ok schools, but still i never liked the education system of malaysia.or the way the teacher discplined their students. i never wore my scarf when i was in primary school and in my last primary school where i took my UPSR exams, every Muslim girl wore a scarf. except me. i was told by my fellow students if i didnt wear it i'd be punished, i was looked at funny by the teachers. the thing is it wasnt a written rule that we must wear the scarf. i didnt even wear the pinafore dress, i chose the malay traditional baju kurung instead. so that was already modest enough for me. and i was only like 12, i wasnt even in puberty yet! i got extremely annoyed by such a preposterous "social" ruling. and i blive if i had stayed on under such circumstances i'd probably just wear the scarf to school and be without it elsewhere making me a hypocrite. if u want to that go ahead it is ur life but id rather not be doing as such. it isnt that i haf a problem with the scarf at that time i just didnt want it forced upon me. and i guess i can rub it in their faces coz now i willingly don one, but i wont of course.
sure enough this little girl who just entered standard 5 (grade 5) experienced a major culture shock. from teachers hitting their students, which is completely unheard of in england, to the most ridiculous subject of pendidikan sivik (civic studies?) which i think is quite redundant coz theres pendidikan Islam and pendidikan moral for non-Muslims so whats the purpose of this weirded out new subject? i remembered her coming to our house back in england with only one sheet of paper to do her homework on. guess what her homework was? writing a story! and here in malaysia she comes back with tonnnes of homework and sleeps at like 11p.m trying to finish them! she showed me and siti her story about how much she hates the school here and my heart went out to her. the only advice we could give her was to study hard and that one day she'll get to go back there and be in uni. we also told her to write emails to her friends in england coz at least staying in touch is good. but seriously my entire heart went out to her, she used to be such a happy child, she looks stressed now! her brother funnily enough has well adapted. from a kid who didnt speak a word of malay i was quite impressed hehehe but i think coz he's younger and a boy, boys tend to adapt easily and they all speak this universal language of play and mischief anyways ;)
my volunteering at masjid negara was really good too. had a great day meeting really nice people. impressed some japanese girls with my limited knowledge of japanese LoL and then met 2 brit-asian girls and hit it off immediately. needless to say my so called "phoney" (according to my brother) accent came out hahaha
later in the week i forgot which day, my coursemates from warwick stopped by in KL for their gap year around thailand-malaysia-singapore-australia-new zealand-hongkong tour. on the same day i also banged my aunts car into a pillar at the KLCC parking lot. i blame it on coldplay hahaha i was singing to their song the whole way and i kinda assumed i could pass through without needing to adjust the position of the car. but i guessed wrong. the front of the car on the left side is pretty dented but Alhamdulillah the lights are alright. but i do haf a phobia of parking cars next to pillars right now, and i havent driven since, doubt any1 is willing to let me drive anyways. i wanted to cry too coz i felt really bad seeing that it isnt my property and that someone entrusted their property onto me and i go and destroy it. granted it was an accident but it couldve been prevented had i not been singing and carried away. any suggestions for a good mechanic is welcomed rite now!
anyways we visited the skybridge at KLCC and that was the first time i went up. i was quite impressed at the view and was taken aback for a moment thinking "wow, i live here! i live in this city!". i never really appreciate KL until i talk to ppl who come visiting the city. and as i took my friends around KL i was amazed at my knowledge of the city and the roads. and i also realized that it's all quite inter-connected if you walk around the city. of course no one ever walks. we also went to the Islamic Arts Museum, then masjid negara, then to pavillion, walking along bukit bintang at night. was great to see them out of the warwick setting, was great to just chill out and catch up. and i felt like i really did help, i felt like i did promote towards a better understanding of my culture, my country and my religion. it's a good feeling. so if anyone else needs a tourguide in KL let me know, i'm more than willing :D
one of my friends went as far as to suggest that i should just be a fulltime tour-guide this gap year of mine. and actually ever since the masjid negara thing, i find that i do like to talk to new people, i do like to impart what little knowledge i have of Malaysia and Islam. i am a bit clearer on what i intend to do once ive gotten my masters, so i guess my gap year of sorting myself out is working slowly. the funniest thing ever though, i never imagined myself as being one that could strike up the courage to speak to random strangers least of all about subjects that i am not so well versed in. im glad my journey to self discovery is not so bleak after all ;)
speaking of masters...i have gotten the unconditional offer to MSc in Anthropology and Development. my first choice. Alhamdulillah. but, yes there's always a but. in light of recent events i have decided to add a second choice to my masters application. i have applied for MPA in International Development. i am extremely keen on development studies which is why i stuck to the development bit. im still waiting to see if i get accepted for the MPA. it'll be loads more challenging considering nearly 95% of the module focuses on economics. and they have a module which actually kinda gets us working with some sort of company. so yea, very different from my first choice. all i can do is wait and see. if i do get accepted, there is a high chance i'll take it. but we'll see.
i have also applied for my accomodation in London. oh my god, the headache it caused. i'm officially going to be broke all the time i can assure u that. no need to envisage myself at harrods enjoying a slice of their famous cheesecake, or shopping for lulu guinness handbags at harvey nichols. oh no! i think i should wipe off knightsbridge entirely from my future London-ista lifestlye. rent is probably going to cause me around 160-200++ pounds, per week. yup per week! and that is considered cheap, coz im in central London and it's inclusive of bills etc. i hope i get the accomodation near uni because i dont want to commute that much, but then again i still would have to commute to go and get my essentials like groceries and such. so i cant even cut cost on commuting. oh god. why did i choose London again? owh yes, prestige. for someone who slaved her arse off at warwick, i shouldve known prestige aint worth it when ur head's done in.
i once told my sister to tell my younger brother when he was choosing a uni to not apply for an ivy league or a top whatever university. unless of course u want to go mad halfway through or have suicidal thoughts. sometimes it isnt worth it. dont get me wrong. i LOVED the years i had in warwick, warwick was probably the best years of my life to date, but the workload and the stress the academics caused sometimes wasnt all worth it. granted my degree wasnt filled with exams or whatnots and we were quite relaxed most of the year (we had four subjects the whole year and a total of 8hrs a week), i had my share of stress. for example, even though we can pick and choose what topic we wanna do in our exams for most of our subjects, we still had to do the weekly seminar readings and sometimes it weant up to hundreds of pages for each subject. and i dont neccessarily understand or like any of the readings i had to do. we also had to do presentations and observations and whatever else have u which we weren't even officially graded for! another example at the end of each term we have to write like 4essays (of 2000 words) for all our subjects and again we dont even get graded for it! so why do we bother? i have no idea. as someone who did sociology i too wonder why we comply with this ridiculous system. yea we can recycle our work or use it as a guideline for our assessed work but still. and dont even get me started on the stupid dissertation they force upon us. 10,000 words btw is a masters level thesis thank you very much. yet warwick being its "elite" wannabe self, force this upon their students. we were told a 2:1 from warwick is like a 1st from any other university. i truly believe that, but at the end of the day not many employees even know how to pronounce the bloody place! well i guess they did something right after all, even after graduating i still hate the academics there LoL
so here i am, going to another "elite" university. huh. and what's even scarier is that if i get the MPA i prolly would be even more stress what with all the economics. i want the MPA coz it can give me a chance to go to Columbia Uni in NY city. another "elite" university. i swear i dont know why i put myself through it all *sigh* im obsessed prestige...
anyways that's all the updates i have on my life right now. somehow when u start typing it up u realize that u dont really have that much to say. in my mind i had loads to write but now i realize i dont. oooh and in a matter of hours i shall be MRAZ-merized ;)
last week was quite a fulfilling week, Alhamdulillah. met with the family of this (msian) ustaz that me and every other malaysian in our year was close with. my housemates and i (in our 2nd year) used to babysit his kids. really sweet, cute kids. was great meeting them again and sitting down listening to their daughter complain about how different it is like to go to school here. for someone who has been through only a couple of years in normal msian primary school, i can relate with the horrors of it still. altho i was lucky enough to have been placed in relatively ok schools, but still i never liked the education system of malaysia.or the way the teacher discplined their students. i never wore my scarf when i was in primary school and in my last primary school where i took my UPSR exams, every Muslim girl wore a scarf. except me. i was told by my fellow students if i didnt wear it i'd be punished, i was looked at funny by the teachers. the thing is it wasnt a written rule that we must wear the scarf. i didnt even wear the pinafore dress, i chose the malay traditional baju kurung instead. so that was already modest enough for me. and i was only like 12, i wasnt even in puberty yet! i got extremely annoyed by such a preposterous "social" ruling. and i blive if i had stayed on under such circumstances i'd probably just wear the scarf to school and be without it elsewhere making me a hypocrite. if u want to that go ahead it is ur life but id rather not be doing as such. it isnt that i haf a problem with the scarf at that time i just didnt want it forced upon me. and i guess i can rub it in their faces coz now i willingly don one, but i wont of course.
sure enough this little girl who just entered standard 5 (grade 5) experienced a major culture shock. from teachers hitting their students, which is completely unheard of in england, to the most ridiculous subject of pendidikan sivik (civic studies?) which i think is quite redundant coz theres pendidikan Islam and pendidikan moral for non-Muslims so whats the purpose of this weirded out new subject? i remembered her coming to our house back in england with only one sheet of paper to do her homework on. guess what her homework was? writing a story! and here in malaysia she comes back with tonnnes of homework and sleeps at like 11p.m trying to finish them! she showed me and siti her story about how much she hates the school here and my heart went out to her. the only advice we could give her was to study hard and that one day she'll get to go back there and be in uni. we also told her to write emails to her friends in england coz at least staying in touch is good. but seriously my entire heart went out to her, she used to be such a happy child, she looks stressed now! her brother funnily enough has well adapted. from a kid who didnt speak a word of malay i was quite impressed hehehe but i think coz he's younger and a boy, boys tend to adapt easily and they all speak this universal language of play and mischief anyways ;)
my volunteering at masjid negara was really good too. had a great day meeting really nice people. impressed some japanese girls with my limited knowledge of japanese LoL and then met 2 brit-asian girls and hit it off immediately. needless to say my so called "phoney" (according to my brother) accent came out hahaha
later in the week i forgot which day, my coursemates from warwick stopped by in KL for their gap year around thailand-malaysia-singapore-australia-new zealand-hongkong tour. on the same day i also banged my aunts car into a pillar at the KLCC parking lot. i blame it on coldplay hahaha i was singing to their song the whole way and i kinda assumed i could pass through without needing to adjust the position of the car. but i guessed wrong. the front of the car on the left side is pretty dented but Alhamdulillah the lights are alright. but i do haf a phobia of parking cars next to pillars right now, and i havent driven since, doubt any1 is willing to let me drive anyways. i wanted to cry too coz i felt really bad seeing that it isnt my property and that someone entrusted their property onto me and i go and destroy it. granted it was an accident but it couldve been prevented had i not been singing and carried away. any suggestions for a good mechanic is welcomed rite now!
anyways we visited the skybridge at KLCC and that was the first time i went up. i was quite impressed at the view and was taken aback for a moment thinking "wow, i live here! i live in this city!". i never really appreciate KL until i talk to ppl who come visiting the city. and as i took my friends around KL i was amazed at my knowledge of the city and the roads. and i also realized that it's all quite inter-connected if you walk around the city. of course no one ever walks. we also went to the Islamic Arts Museum, then masjid negara, then to pavillion, walking along bukit bintang at night. was great to see them out of the warwick setting, was great to just chill out and catch up. and i felt like i really did help, i felt like i did promote towards a better understanding of my culture, my country and my religion. it's a good feeling. so if anyone else needs a tourguide in KL let me know, i'm more than willing :D
one of my friends went as far as to suggest that i should just be a fulltime tour-guide this gap year of mine. and actually ever since the masjid negara thing, i find that i do like to talk to new people, i do like to impart what little knowledge i have of Malaysia and Islam. i am a bit clearer on what i intend to do once ive gotten my masters, so i guess my gap year of sorting myself out is working slowly. the funniest thing ever though, i never imagined myself as being one that could strike up the courage to speak to random strangers least of all about subjects that i am not so well versed in. im glad my journey to self discovery is not so bleak after all ;)
speaking of masters...i have gotten the unconditional offer to MSc in Anthropology and Development. my first choice. Alhamdulillah. but, yes there's always a but. in light of recent events i have decided to add a second choice to my masters application. i have applied for MPA in International Development. i am extremely keen on development studies which is why i stuck to the development bit. im still waiting to see if i get accepted for the MPA. it'll be loads more challenging considering nearly 95% of the module focuses on economics. and they have a module which actually kinda gets us working with some sort of company. so yea, very different from my first choice. all i can do is wait and see. if i do get accepted, there is a high chance i'll take it. but we'll see.
i have also applied for my accomodation in London. oh my god, the headache it caused. i'm officially going to be broke all the time i can assure u that. no need to envisage myself at harrods enjoying a slice of their famous cheesecake, or shopping for lulu guinness handbags at harvey nichols. oh no! i think i should wipe off knightsbridge entirely from my future London-ista lifestlye. rent is probably going to cause me around 160-200++ pounds, per week. yup per week! and that is considered cheap, coz im in central London and it's inclusive of bills etc. i hope i get the accomodation near uni because i dont want to commute that much, but then again i still would have to commute to go and get my essentials like groceries and such. so i cant even cut cost on commuting. oh god. why did i choose London again? owh yes, prestige. for someone who slaved her arse off at warwick, i shouldve known prestige aint worth it when ur head's done in.
i once told my sister to tell my younger brother when he was choosing a uni to not apply for an ivy league or a top whatever university. unless of course u want to go mad halfway through or have suicidal thoughts. sometimes it isnt worth it. dont get me wrong. i LOVED the years i had in warwick, warwick was probably the best years of my life to date, but the workload and the stress the academics caused sometimes wasnt all worth it. granted my degree wasnt filled with exams or whatnots and we were quite relaxed most of the year (we had four subjects the whole year and a total of 8hrs a week), i had my share of stress. for example, even though we can pick and choose what topic we wanna do in our exams for most of our subjects, we still had to do the weekly seminar readings and sometimes it weant up to hundreds of pages for each subject. and i dont neccessarily understand or like any of the readings i had to do. we also had to do presentations and observations and whatever else have u which we weren't even officially graded for! another example at the end of each term we have to write like 4essays (of 2000 words) for all our subjects and again we dont even get graded for it! so why do we bother? i have no idea. as someone who did sociology i too wonder why we comply with this ridiculous system. yea we can recycle our work or use it as a guideline for our assessed work but still. and dont even get me started on the stupid dissertation they force upon us. 10,000 words btw is a masters level thesis thank you very much. yet warwick being its "elite" wannabe self, force this upon their students. we were told a 2:1 from warwick is like a 1st from any other university. i truly believe that, but at the end of the day not many employees even know how to pronounce the bloody place! well i guess they did something right after all, even after graduating i still hate the academics there LoL
so here i am, going to another "elite" university. huh. and what's even scarier is that if i get the MPA i prolly would be even more stress what with all the economics. i want the MPA coz it can give me a chance to go to Columbia Uni in NY city. another "elite" university. i swear i dont know why i put myself through it all *sigh* im obsessed prestige...
anyways that's all the updates i have on my life right now. somehow when u start typing it up u realize that u dont really have that much to say. in my mind i had loads to write but now i realize i dont. oooh and in a matter of hours i shall be MRAZ-merized ;)
Sunday, 22 February 2009
a mixture of musicals ^^
with all that's been happening in the world i havent really had a chance to write a truly personal entry. meaning one concerning what is happening in my life right now. because im not in the mood to write currently, indulge urself in a bunch of vids i have compiled to express my current feelings:
I want to defy gravittttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Sometimes u gotta let go of something/someone u truly care about....this part has always made me shed a tear...christineee i loooooooveeee youuuuu :'(
and sometimes u just wanna let loose n be free like them lot
i still cant get over the fact that i didnt get to go to THIS:
i wished i was able to see the ORIGINAL kim, but nevermind at least i got to see it before they ended the show :D
lately, im always hungry or obsessed with food LoL
and finally, wouldnt this be lovely:
;)
I want to defy gravittttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Sometimes u gotta let go of something/someone u truly care about....this part has always made me shed a tear...christineee i loooooooveeee youuuuu :'(
and sometimes u just wanna let loose n be free like them lot
i still cant get over the fact that i didnt get to go to THIS:
i wished i was able to see the ORIGINAL kim, but nevermind at least i got to see it before they ended the show :D
lately, im always hungry or obsessed with food LoL
and finally, wouldnt this be lovely:
;)
Friday, 20 February 2009
millionaire...millionaire, who's dat millionaire?
I went to watch Slumdog Millionaire last weekend. I've been meaning to watch it since I've heard so many positive reviews on it and after winning seven BAFTAs (including best film) confirmed my need to watch it. Needless to say, it deserves all the hype surrounding it. It was sheer brilliance, deviating from the normal Bollywood dramas, it still has the main themes of love, crime and some elaborate-very unlikely-to-happen-in-real-life scenes. Yet it was so cleverly done, so simplisticly done. I don't mean simple as in easy, I mean simple as in its story line doesn't really require you to crack your brain trying to figure it out. Nothing like Syriana (although once understood, I really love Syriana).
No summary, trailer, or anything can begin to capture the coulour and excitement the story has to offer you. So my advice is GO WATCH IT! It's one of those movies that you leave the cinema feeling completely satisfied. It's one of those movies that take main and very real social issues but placing it in a very simple manner. Similar to Juno. The storyline very unlike Juno, yet it carries a major message or moral if you'd like that not only leaves the audience entertained, it also leaves the audience thinking.
It gives you the real picture of the slums in India and the poverty that is apparent in Mumbai. My late grandmother went to India once and she told me of her experience at the Taj Mahal. Yes it was beautiful, yes it was amazing, but right at its doorstep (what postcards don't show us) are hundreds of beggars ranging from all ages. The movie also shows this aspect of Taj Mahal, that reminded me of my grandmother's story. Evoking the emotion of sympathy but at the same time, it portrays the vivacity of life in the slum area that is different from all those charity adverts we see on TV.
I was really impressed with the movie. Even more so at the fact that a cast of practically nobody's were able to pull it all off. Some of the acting was a bit stiff, and Dev Patel's brit accent was bursting to escape innumerably, the script at some bits were cheesy yet I think the film was able to overcome all of this because of the aspect of beginning the story from childhood.
The audience really gets to know Jamal as he narrates his life-story that in turn enabled him to know all the right answers to the questions on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. And this I believe is an important aspect of the movie, showing how difficult his childhood was really touched the audience emotionally, yet it was told in the sheer innocence of how a child thinks that you just can't help but smile and at the same time think "No child deserves this!".
Another movie I believe that used this technique, although more extensively and very graphically, was Kite Runner. Oh my God, I absolutely love that movie. Despite how some of my friends finding it perturbing, I thought it really did a good job on what it intended to portray.
2008 was a year of good movies I must admit. I watched plenty of good movies, ranging from all genres. From Sweeney Toddy, The Dark Knight, Kite Runner (although I think it came out in 2007...), 27 Dresses, Penelope, Stardust, Wall-E, Enchanted, Juno (released in 2007 too i think) !!! wonderful wonderful movies that just touched my heart i want to get them on DVD right now :P
The best part of Slumdog Millionaire though, has got to be what they did for 2 of the kids. The 2 of the kids I forget which one, actually were from the streets, and now they're in school getting an education. Rather than paying them a full sum of money, they're in school, and have a trust fund under their name when at the age of 16 they are able to withdraw. I think that is even better than paying them a full lump-sum now because only heaven knows the amount of people out there that could exploit these poor children.
I think I've done enough jabbering on. Please do yourself a favour and watch this movie :D and good luck Slumdog Millionaire at the Oscars ^^
No summary, trailer, or anything can begin to capture the coulour and excitement the story has to offer you. So my advice is GO WATCH IT! It's one of those movies that you leave the cinema feeling completely satisfied. It's one of those movies that take main and very real social issues but placing it in a very simple manner. Similar to Juno. The storyline very unlike Juno, yet it carries a major message or moral if you'd like that not only leaves the audience entertained, it also leaves the audience thinking.
It gives you the real picture of the slums in India and the poverty that is apparent in Mumbai. My late grandmother went to India once and she told me of her experience at the Taj Mahal. Yes it was beautiful, yes it was amazing, but right at its doorstep (what postcards don't show us) are hundreds of beggars ranging from all ages. The movie also shows this aspect of Taj Mahal, that reminded me of my grandmother's story. Evoking the emotion of sympathy but at the same time, it portrays the vivacity of life in the slum area that is different from all those charity adverts we see on TV.
I was really impressed with the movie. Even more so at the fact that a cast of practically nobody's were able to pull it all off. Some of the acting was a bit stiff, and Dev Patel's brit accent was bursting to escape innumerably, the script at some bits were cheesy yet I think the film was able to overcome all of this because of the aspect of beginning the story from childhood.
The audience really gets to know Jamal as he narrates his life-story that in turn enabled him to know all the right answers to the questions on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. And this I believe is an important aspect of the movie, showing how difficult his childhood was really touched the audience emotionally, yet it was told in the sheer innocence of how a child thinks that you just can't help but smile and at the same time think "No child deserves this!".
Another movie I believe that used this technique, although more extensively and very graphically, was Kite Runner. Oh my God, I absolutely love that movie. Despite how some of my friends finding it perturbing, I thought it really did a good job on what it intended to portray.
2008 was a year of good movies I must admit. I watched plenty of good movies, ranging from all genres. From Sweeney Toddy, The Dark Knight, Kite Runner (although I think it came out in 2007...), 27 Dresses, Penelope, Stardust, Wall-E, Enchanted, Juno (released in 2007 too i think) !!! wonderful wonderful movies that just touched my heart i want to get them on DVD right now :P
The best part of Slumdog Millionaire though, has got to be what they did for 2 of the kids. The 2 of the kids I forget which one, actually were from the streets, and now they're in school getting an education. Rather than paying them a full sum of money, they're in school, and have a trust fund under their name when at the age of 16 they are able to withdraw. I think that is even better than paying them a full lump-sum now because only heaven knows the amount of people out there that could exploit these poor children.
I think I've done enough jabbering on. Please do yourself a favour and watch this movie :D and good luck Slumdog Millionaire at the Oscars ^^
Sunday, 18 January 2009
KL under siege!
"Children of Palestine are fighting for their lives They say to their parents we know that Palestine is our right They to say to their parents we'll fight for what is right They say not to worry God is on our side They say we'll die for Palestine Palestine, Forever Palestine" Palestine Forever by Sami YusufIt started at 6.45a.m when I woke up to the shrill sound of my alarm clock. I had half an hour to get ready before Badib picked me up to go to the COMPLETE event held at the Bangsar Sports Complex. Badib, Ilham and I had volunteered for the registering of volunteers for the KL Siege. KL Siege basically meant a bunch of us (300+ in the end) dispersed all around
We got there pretty early and the volunteers didn’t really start coming till half past eight. We basically just got them to write their names and contact details down and then give each volunteer a Palestinian scarf. Although we were informed later by an Arab “brother” that the scarf depicts
Deflated, we left the KLCC area before we got into further trouble with them. We split up and 5 of us, my friends and I were in a group walking down the road towards KL Tower. Not many people wanted to take the pamphlets, most of them were tourists anyway (although one that took the pamphlet then later asked if I could show him the way to Hard Rock Café, LOL!). Near the traffic light at Shangri-La Hotel cops were suddenly staring at us. Ilham then spoke to them and they asked to see our pamphlets. Their faces were guilt ridden, I mean it is for a good cause yet they were informed by their head office to oversee students handing out all these flyers. We were then detained for a bit and they read our authorisation letter over and over again and then also called the head of the COMPLETE team. We were all already tired of walking, sweating from the heat, thirsty and hungry that I believe that they did take pity on our pathetic-ness. I mean how can 5 girls one on the phone with her mum, the other lobster-faced because of the heat and the rest complaining of hunger be handing out flyers promoting something bad? They let us go eventually and allowed us to continue distributing the flyers as long as we didn’t disturb people’s peace.
Honestly though, we were just plain disheartened and probably lost all our motivation. I mean we had like stacks of pamphlets probably nearly 1000 of them still to give out but we were already thrown out of KLCC and just got detained by the police. All we wanted to do was board the monorail and go home. Then someone got the idea that perhaps on the monorail we should just start giving the flyers outs. At Raja Chulan station there was already a donation box for
We decided to get off the monorail at KL Sentral, then get back on it again then get off again so we could give out more pamphlets. Which we succeeded in doing, some people even asked for more so they could distribute it to their friends. We were already running late so we all went to the LRT station to head back to Bangsar. The queue was so long that we took the opportunity to just hand out to everyone the flyers and people whilst in line were actually reading it! Some even asked questions about COMPLETE and also gave suggestions on how to improve the flyers. The responses we got were amazing, Alhamdulillah.
On our final leg, I gave out the flyers on the LRT and people were really happy to have gotten them. Once we reached Bangsar we had finished all the stacks of pamphlets we originally had. It was truly unbelievable because we had such a trying day. From the heat, the thirst, the sleepiness, the hunger, to the trouble we got with KLCC security and then the cops we thought we’d never give out the pamphlets at all! I guess us all dressing in black with a Palestinian scarf around our necks really got people questioning who we were and what were we all about. Alhamdulillah, a very fulfilling day and the best thing about it is that people actually read the pamphlets; and not just Muslims, everyone transcending race and religion, that was the most rewarding feeling ever.
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
How many more must die?
"...you will find the faithful like a body, if one of its parts feels pain, the whole body responds with wakefulness and fever" (Narrated by Muslim and Bukhari)As I write this entry, it's been 19days since Israel started it's barbaric assault onto Gaza and the death toll is nearly 1000. Sometimes you just don't want to watch the news anymore. Too many deaths, destruction, tears, screams, blood...all you want to do is just to flick the channel or turn off the TV and make it all go away. We're fortunate enough to just turn it off, but what about those in Gaza, subjected to sounds of bombs, sounds of jetplanes constantly circling above their homes every hour of the day? What about them?
I've never felt more useless in my life as I feel now. I've always thought that with a proper education I would be able to help rise the ummah, I would be a part of the generation that will create change. Yet, I spend my days in comforts that my brothers and sisters in Gaza can only dream of. The worst feeling ever for one to have is that of helplessness.
I was reading in Al Jazeera how Egypt and Saudi Arabia rejected an Arab summit call to discuss the situation in Gaza. Instead they find the 18th January economic summit would be an appropriate place to discuss the issue. What I find interesting is how diplomats have said that the Egyptians and Saudis fear that the summit wont have any results and would make Arab leaders appear ineffective. Oh trust me, Arab leaders have appeared ineffective a looooooong time ago! Actually not just Arab leaders, most Muslim leaders are pretty much useless at the moment, OIC I believe stands for organization of IMMOBILE countries. For the most part, they don't move anywhere, they don't progress, they're just stay stunted and useless.
For example, just a few steps from Masjidil Haram lies a Starbucks Coffeeshop. Now Saudi Arabia, a state that won't allow women to drive (!!!) has made Makkah, the holiest of lands for all Muslims a place where multi-national corporations to stamp their brands on. And need I add Howard Schultz the chairman of Starbucks is an active Zionist too. When I see on the news how the Muslims in Gaza are saying Arab leaders have sold them out, I echo their sentiment.
Everyone seems to think that the most powerful nation in the world is the USA. Ironically enough most of the oil (where the money is really at), is concentrated mostly in the Middle East. So shouldn't the Muslim countries be the ones most powerful and feared right now? Look at what the furore Russia caused with stopping gas to Ukraine, what would happen if a similar incident occured but with regards to oil? Isn't that a frightening situation?
Yet, it seems like those in "control" of these riches are just mere puppets on a puppet show. Other people are pulling the strings, other people are ochestrating the show.
Again, I repeat, I've never felt more useless in my life as I feel now. What use is that piece of paper stating my accomplishment when my brothers and sisters, no, a part of me is bleeding; hurting; dying!
Israel continue to claim that they are attacking only Hamas and not civilians. Yet the accusations of them using white phosphorus really does go against their "we're not attacking civillians" claim. It's a smoke that encompasses a wide area, it will eventually harm everyone within the vicinity. And we continuously hear on the news how densely populated Gaza city is. Oh yes, not harming the civillians indeed. I didn't know that children were military targets either.
My voice may not be heard, but the cries and screams of the 4000+ injured and families of the nearly 1000 killed is hard to drown out. If you can't hear that, then you truly are deaf. You're not human.
How many more must die for the world to open their eyes, their ears, to hear the pleas of those who are unjustly murdered? How many more must die for diplomacy to come to play? How many more must die for the Muslim ummah to rise and help one another? Uniting to fight against an evil may not be the best foundation to begin unity, but it is a platform for unity. So why then can't we forget our differences, leave the accusations behind and just stand together?
"The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: so make peace and reconciliation between your two (contending) brothers; and fear God, that you may receive Mercy" (Holy Qur'an 49:10)
Friday, 9 January 2009
Truth is on the side of the oppressed
it's nearly two weeks since israel began its assault on gaza. the death toll of innocent civillians right now is 765 and rising. the only outcome of politicians who sit around a a table debating whilst children, i repeat CHILDREN are dying, is a three hour pause during the day for aid to pass through. oh and just in, finally a resolution for a ceasefire... it took them 765 deaths to come to that conclusion???
i am getting sick and tired of israel's "self-defense" excuse used to justify its acts. is it really self defense killing innocent lives of children? preventing aid? bombing places of worship? even firing at a UN truck! oh yes all this in the name of self defense indeed ...
"Our installations have been hit, our workers have been killed in spite of the fact that the Israeli authorities have the co-ordinates of our facilities and that all our movements are co-ordinated with the Israeli army," said Unrwa spokesman Chris Gunness.
nothing can justify what the israeli govt are doing to the gazans. they say they are defending themselves against terrorists, it is them who are the terrorist. i dont hold all israel to blame, there are 20% of israelis against their government, although a minority, at least there is awareness amongst the israelis at how inhumane their government is.
im going to stop now because i just cant blog any further about this. it really does pain me to see my brothers and sisters in palestine without food, water, shelter. make dua for them please. that is the least we can do. pray an additional sunnah prayer every night for them. that is the least we can do. donate even $1, that is the least we can do.
check out these other websites for more details on the war on gaza:
Electronic Intifada
Al Jazeera English
Ilan Pappe (check this guy out, he's one of the 20%. i was priviliged enough to have heard him speak when he came to warwick and was very impressed)
BBC
BBC-Aid worker's diary (a must read)
1948 (not so related to the current war on gaza, but is worth a visit)
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