Quiet Contemplation

A million words can not describe
The feelings I have inside.
The fears, the anticipations,
The hopes, the dreams, the aspirations.
What if you were taken from me right now?
What would I do?
How will I carry on without you?
Maybe I've never expressed
The love I've supressed.
But can you blame me?
I felt deceived, I felt betrayed, I felt abandoned,
I felt alone.

Time has taken it's toll,
Are you really this old?
Why haven't I realized, all my life,
It's me that you strive for.
Everything that you've given to me,
Everything you've allowed me to be,
Only now I begin to see.

Each trial and tribulation,
Each obstacle I face,
No matter how many times I fall from grace,
You're there in quiet contemplation,
Thinking ways to be a better person.
A better person for all the world to see,
A better person for me.

Yet, I am arrogant.
I am stubborn.
I am reluctant to believe,
I am sceptical towards you.
Maybe I have become what you've always wanted me to be,
I've become you, as you've always been me.

*something i wrote because sometimes i cannot express how i feel to the people i really love, to people who i worry about, to people that sometimes i dont think i've fully forgiven*